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4

 

Had Meher Baba shown me more at that time of his own inner nature, which the future has revealed, I could not have borne it, I know. Clumsily, it must have seemed, did I offer him the fruit, while my friend was recounting my physical weakness to him. Looking back, I can see how alert he was, though with quiet composure he detached a grape from the bunch and handed it to me before my eyes could follow the movement properly. My friend, who knew what was intended, told me that Baba wished me to eat it, saying that he had truly charged it with his healing power and love, and so I obediently followed his direction and ate the grape at once, slowly, almost like one in a dream, without comprehending fully that which the passage of years now makes plainer. With that blessed fruit came the commencement of a return to health, which other methods up to then had failed to give. And gradually energy has returned, though perhaps of a different character than before.

 

It seems now that I was clumsy in every way. On turning to leave I stooped and, without asking permission, took his beautiful hand that lay on his knee and raised it to kiss it. He was quite resistless, and I half thought I had made a mistake. Thus thinking, I turned round, and made another movement, an Indian salutation I had seen between Indians. The youngest Indian laughed a boyish happy laugh, perhaps amused at the efforts of such an apprentice hand as mine, but so friendly and understanding. Then Meher Baba's face too lit up with a smile that revealed again his sweetness and the wonder of his nature to all who could see.

 

Very fortunately, I saw him again the next day for a moment, and afterwards during several successive days, when he was visiting at the house of a mutual friend. Others too were gathered there, very different in temperament, but all attracted for the same reason, and each learning in his or her own way, from the contact with Baba and each other. I found my own prejudices and limitations asserting themselves continually and criticism of others, including Meher Baba, as well as doubts concerning what had been told me of him, crowding my mind. These arose in such a way that they could not be shelved, but had to be faced, and this process continued over a long period.

 

Eventually I recognized that the whole of my habits of thought and feeling and of action too, were passing in review, reinforced by the energy loosed by being stirred up from the subconscious into activity. Actually, after four years of closer and closer contact with Baba, though with few hours actually in his presence during that time, I can look back and see the effect of his guidance and the power of his love and wisdom continuously,

 

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