And in fact the following day I learned that it was a Parsee ceremonial shawl, given in the Zoroastrian religion by the father of the bride to the groom at the wedding. I am sure that the mandali did not know the meaning of the gift as it was given in great intimacy from Baba's hands. Yet they did all say when we came away from Baba, 'It was a beautiful darshan—like a wedding."

Baba told us, “You are very fortunate that the December Sahavas was can-celled, for at that Sahavas you would not have been able to have such an intimate darshan." I told him how I had determined to come and not wanting to ask anything of him, took the chance that my decision would be his will. He told me that I had been right; that he wanted me to come, but that if I had written to ask him, he would have had to say no. This I think is because if I had written to ask him, I would have only shown him my own doubt. And no pilgrimage ever stemmed from doubt.

Now to go back it should be told here that when Phyllis saw Baba the previous December, 1964, Baba had told her that he wanted me to come to him, and it was then that he said, “I will show Lyn my face as it really is. This I give to very few."

When entering a room from the daylight I find generally that it takes me sometime before I can see anything, so depleted are the retinas of my eyes. I cannot recall what I saw or did not see upon entering the door of Mandali Hall. I found that Baba seats himself near that door in the corner by a window, and as Baba held my face very close to his in our original embrace, I found that I could see only the left side of Baba's face, illuminated by the window, while most of his face remained obscured from my eyes by the dimmer light of the room. Baba seemed concerned by how well I could see him and at one point he said to me that all people are blind to him as he really is, but that someday I will see his face within.

Then all of a sudden a brilliant light fell upon Baba, but it was not the inner light of illumination. Nevertheless it caused me considerable inspiration for I could see him very plainly and I could tell this gave Baba great pleasure. I could not concentrate on what Baba was saying then for the happiness I felt at the dispersion of the shadows from Baba's physical face. It always makes me happy to have objects brightly illuminated so imagine my happiness in having the one object representing Reality illuminated even in the gross.

Mani, Baba's sister, had quietly come into the hall and was taking a movie of the darshan. This was a great gift to me from Baba, as well as the mandali, for the battery-powered flood lights were the only source of artificial light in Baba’s unelectrified abode. I am in retrospect aware that this had the effect of accentuating and sharpening my ego-consciousness, which had seemed up to then very weak in his presence, because I experienced the vanity of being filmed in intimate darshan with Baba.