We are (also) going to go through a period of humiliation. It is our humiliation and it is Baba's humiliation, according to His declaration.

"Then Baba said 'A strange disease will attack my body.' And that, of course happened. Dr. Ginde, the renowned neurosurgeon, used to tell me: 'Adi, don't call me to see to Baba's health. Baba's health is beyond me. If you call me, call me to take Baba's darshan'. The strange spasms Baba used to get could not be analyzed by all the doctors in attendance. They were so severe, so frightening, we had to lift Baba, place him in a chair, He had gone so weak . . . and Baba was 100% conscious even when the urea content was so high He should have been in a coma; that is also beyond medical understanding.

"Now the violent death. What is a violent death? Baba said that in His own language. Baba said, 'Christ was crucified at one time; I underwent Crucifixion for days together, for every minute of my life.' That was His Crucifixion. And the violent death might be interpreted as the spasms He got which the doctors could not understand. We were eye-witnesses to the effects of this strange disease, the jerks and spasms He used to get. Sometimes a word seemed about to slip out of His mouth but never did."

Then Sarosh greeted us: "We are happy to meet here today. Beloved Baba had great influence on us. The work He has done is for the entire world, His spiritual treasure has been distributed to the entire world. Where is it? You will receive it. It is already there—it will come to you. The power He has released. We could not believe the English would leave. But time has made it so—no? Baba's manifestation will take place and there won't be any question about it, it will be self-evident . . . shining! We have to wait, be patient.

"The trust was mentioned and we were urged to support it. Baba's work is the work of love. The mandali do not ask for anything, not even God-realization. Baba says you have to become desireless . . . it is all a game of Love."

With folded hands, a mutual Jai Baba, then the arti was sung. Time to go! Find our shoes. . . get in the car . . . feed the last beggar at the window . . . drive 'home' to Poona, for two hours into an Indian sunset. As I came into the Poona Club, tired and dirty, a Parsee woman at the desk asked 'What is it you Americans are seeking in Baba?' 'Love', I answered. 'Are you married?" When I said 'no', she gave me a pitying look. And I gave her a pitying thought. Poor Parsee lady! And went upstairs to bed.

Monday June 10th: Last Day of Darshan.

At 9:15 Mehera and two ladies, just arrived from France, garlanded Baba's photo "surrogate" in the chair. Eruch said he hoped we bad a pleasant trip yesterday. We should fill in our 'pink sheet', he said. I smiled. Every week at work, I fill in a 'pink sheet'. But here, we are to write up our impressions of darshan.

At the end of June the mandali will leave Guruprasad for Meherazad. At 5:30 A.M. tomorrow, we leave Poona too. Mani says "The 10th of April to the 10th of June has been one gigantic love affair between Beloved and His lovers. We are all different in our clothes, language, ways of worshipping, but we are the same because we have the same Beloved. We thank Beloved for bringing this lovely family to us. It's a great privilege for us to see you pouring love on us. This is our first darshan! We have seen Baba give darshan to hundreds of lovers, thousands have come to take His darshan. But never up till now, have we felt that we shared His darshan. Each time you bowed at Baba's feet, we have felt Baba's darshan. You gave to us. It's lucky Baba is the ocean because you have taken so much love from Him!

"Meher Baba means compassion; He really, truly, is Compassion incarnate, beauty incarnate. He did it on our behalf. His true suffering has been in silence. Laying aside His form so gently, not even letting the earth feel the dropping of His body—for that we can never thank Him enough.

"In the beginning of November Baba was very well and walked very fast. He said: 'I walk so fast Harry is amazed'! (Dr. Kenmore was here in November.) He was very well—then suddenly, not well. Eruch said to Baba, about the darshan, 'there is still time to cancel.' Baba said 'Why do you worry? I won't let My lovers down. I will give darshan. '