right next up [sic] to him, so that my knees were right next to his knees. I just wanted to be right there and then disappear in Baba, in that feeling.

Whenever I would sit with Baba or anywhere, my whole being was filled with anxiousness and longing, and loving Baba. I would not feel my own existence at all — (who am I? What am I doing?) Only Baba's love was within me. This subtle longing, this special longing, was in my heart and in my mind to an extent that I can't in any way explain it with words. Whenever I would see Baba from a distance, Baba would make his lips into a kiss, and he would approach me. Then he would pat me on the head. I would feel my subtle soul; I would completely feel my subtle soul in that time. And it was like perfume and rosewater — it was like my soul was being washed with that perfume and rosewater. As he would put his hand over my head and would bring it down, it was as it he was just cleansing and washing my soul and going to the depth. It would make me so drunk and in such a state that I can't even speak of it in any words. And of course that drunkenness was a spiritual drunkenness. I didn't feel like bodily drunkenness like you feel after drinking a cup of wine. It was not like that. It was a spiritual drunkenness; it was very subtle. It was very creative. It was like a wind from paradise had opened over me. I can't explain how that subtle music was. This was with me all the time when I was there. I continuously had that. I had it after that also, and of course now I have it in a higher level. It is not like THAT anymore. I can't explain what it is anymore.

I was in this state that one of those days Baba asked for me to go to him. All of sudden I thought to myself, "Maybe Baba wants to send me back to my home and my family;" — meaning Iran, Yazd. So I went to Baba and as soon as Baba started to tell me I realized that yes, indeed, he was going to say that same thing which I had thought when he sent for me. And he said: "Whatever I tell you you have to obey." I understood what it was. I had no recourse; I couldn't say no. I said, "All right". He said: "You have to go to Iran. And until I call you back again, whenever I call for you again, then you can come back."

I was definitely so unhappy, and I was so miserable, that all of the thoughts and all of the states that I was thinking and feeling at the time were dominated by this sorrow of leaving. When Baba gave the order for me to go to Iran, my sorrow and my sadness were as much as my happiness and joy had been before. I couldn't think any more about my spiritual work. I didn't know what to do and I was like a madman. I could in no way do my spiritual work, and I had lost touch with it.

Well, finally I obeyed Baba and started towards Iran. When I got back to Iran, gradually I realized that yes, indeed, all the feelings and all the things that I would see and feel when I was with Baba, I still had. So I continued my spiritual work, and the time that I mentioned when I was in Baba's carriage going up the hill towards Meher Ashram, and I saw Baba the next day from a distance, and Baba gave that experience of Divine Love at that time — I absorbed it and I understood it then and there. That showed me how I should fall in love, how I should love. Then he had shown me how I should love the Beloved. With one look at Baba at that time, that experience was mine, and he gave me that experience. From that time till now, I have not been able to reach fulfillment and completion of this experience. It is not finished, yet: I have not yet completely experienced that which Baba showed me once.

Reminiscing about the early days, Mr. Vasali recalled:

When we were living in Prem Ashram, when they would serve lunch for the children they would first sing this chant: "Hari Paramatma, Allah, Ahuramazda, God, Yezdan, Hu." They would sing this chant. They would repeat it five or six times until the food would be all prepared and ready, and then they would eat. Most of the times, Baba would come and serve the food with his own hands, and whatever they wanted to eat, he would serve them with his own hands. One of these days, Baba took some food, and made a few — five or six of us — sit around him, and like feeding food to little children